Is Social Media Ruining Your Self-Esteem?

The Insta-Fakeness Generation

We live in a social media world full of fake Insta bloggers and perfect family lives plastered all over Facebook. It would be easy for a mom, or even a dad to feel somewhat down about their less than perfect family life. Scrolling through social media news feeds seeing photo after photo of perfect little children, smiling, laughing, playing. Behaving their way through whatever social function their family happened to attend that day. It all looks so perfect. So real. But can it be that social media is ruining our self-esteem?

What many of us fail to realise is that whilst there are 10 perfect photographs with wonderfully smiling, happy children, there could’ve been 100 more photos of a dirty, snotty nose, grubby children chucking their 78th tantrum for the day.

But, in the social media world, we share what we want others to see and herein lies the problem. The problem of perception. The perception of perfection, something you yourself will never achieve. And it can get us moms down on ourselves and is how social media is ruining our self-esteem.

We see others allegedly blitzing this parenting thing and we wonder why we are struggling so badly. The reality is, no one and I mean no one finds parenting easy. Any mother who says “oh it’s a breeze” is one of those Insta-fake people, too scared to show the world that they are literally hanging on by a mere thread. 

Attend any school ground and you’ll spot them, like a flamingo in amongst the plain old ducks. She flamboyantly flits around boasting about how much she’s going to miss their little ones whilst they’re at school.

The same mothers who then scurry off to get their nails done, have a latte with friends or wander around the shops in utter blissful peace. So excuse me if I call absolute BS on their “I can’t believe the school holidays are over, what am I going to do without my sidekick…” swan song. Kids are hard work. Damn hard work and we all want a little time to ourselves sometimes. 

Take for example me taking my daughter to playgroup. Here was a mom, third child in a pram, two other kids in tow. They were all dressed perfectly, neat hair, lunches packed. She strolled on in with the baby bag fully stocked and the bubs asleep.

I couldn’t help but say “wow, how does she do it? I struggle with two and here she is with three….” The answer I received wasn’t one I expected, the reply from her best friend was blunt “with a lot of anxiety and valium….” Oh okay. So again, here is the outward appearance very different from behind closed doors. 

Jump on Instagram and scroll though the endless photos of perfection, family bliss with the hashtags to match. Like modern-day photoshopping, people are portraying a fake-ness to the world in an effort to show just how wonderful their lives are.

The Reality

Reality is that normal lives don’t look like an Instagram feed. I have always preferred to post just the opposite on Instagram or Facebook. I share with my friends the hilarious parenting fails I face. The utter absurdity that is parenting toddlers.

Photographs of my lounge room floor littered with a zillion pieces of lego, faces of my child mid-tantrum or food spread on the floor from the kitchen to the dining room to me is far more interesting. Sure, I’ll put up cute photos of the kids as well but to portray the #mylifeisperfect is just not me. It is not genuine and honestly, anyone who knows me and my parenting style knows that isn’t even close how my daily life goes.

While some of us “real bad” moms own it and joke about it, others prefer to hide behind the facade of perfection. The best us other moms can do is just be real, know it’s hard and support each other as best we can. 

So go on, share those imperfect moments. Those hilarious parenting fails we all experience. Give everyone a laugh and make your momma friends feel good about the crappy day they may too be having!

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